Relationship Pattern Assessment

First Name *

Email *

Round 1: Early Love & Attraction

When you first feel attracted to someone, your nervous system *

Gets excited but immediately starts evaluating if they're "the right choice"

Feels drawn to them but scans for signs they might need your help

Wants to give everything to make them happy and feel cared for

Feels the attraction but something whispers "this won't work"

Creates distance while observing - interested but won't make first move

In the early dating phase, you typically *

Present your most impressive self while wondering if you could do better

Focus on managing the emotional climate and making everything go smoothly

Pour energy into making them comfortable and anticipating their needs

Want connection but find reasons why timing isn't perfect

Engage intellectually but keep actual feelings behind glass

When someone you're dating gets upset or emotional, you *

Feel compelled to fix it efficiently so you can get back to enjoying the relationship

Immediately shift into management mode - their emotions become your responsibility

Drop everything to comfort them and make sure they feel better

Want to help but feel overwhelmed by their emotional intensity

Feel uncomfortable and prefer to address it intellectually rather than emotionally

Your ideal romantic scenario involves *

Someone impressive enough to match your standards who makes you look good together

Someone who appreciates how competent you are and lets you take charge

Someone who lets you love them fully and appreciates everything you do

Someone who creates safety for your sensitive nervous system

Deep intellectual and spiritual connection without too much emotional messiness

When relationships start getting serious, you *

Analyze whether this person fits your long-term vision and goals

Become more focused on managing the relationship dynamics

Become even more invested in their happiness and wellbeing

Want deeper intimacy but feel scared of being hurt or abandoned

Feel excited about connection but need significant alone time to process

Round 2: Intimacy & Emotional Connection

When your partner says "I love you," your nervous system *

Evaluates whether their love matches the quality you think you deserve

Immediately wonders how to maintain that love and keep them happy

Feels overwhelmed with gratitude and wants to give everything in return

Feels flooded with emotion - almost too much to take in

Feels touched but like the words are reaching you through glass

During emotional conversations with partners, you *

Stay controlled and articulate, even when discussing feelings

Focus on managing the conversation to keep it productive and calm

Focus more on understanding their emotions than expressing your own

Feel overwhelmed with emotion and sometimes can't find words

Engage thoughtfully but struggle to access or express deep feelings

When your partner is struggling with something, you *

Offer solutions and get frustrated if they don't take your advice

Take charge of helping them solve the problem efficiently

Drop everything to help them, even if it costs you personally

Feel their pain as if it's your own and want to absorb their suffering

Listen compassionately but don't feel compelled to fix or save them

Sexual intimacy feels most satisfying when *

You're performing well and know you're impressing your partner

You feel in control of the experience and your partner's pleasure

Your partner feels completely cared for and you've anticipated their every need

You feel completely safe and cherished, not just desired

There's deep spiritual/emotional connection alongside physical pleasure

When you need emotional support from your partner, you *

Rarely ask directly - expect them to notice you're struggling

Find it difficult to be vulnerable when you're not in control

Feel guilty asking because you don't want to burden them

Want their support but feel needy or ashamed for needing it

Prefer to process things alone rather than involving them

Round 3: Relationship Dynamics & Patterns

In conflicts with romantic partners, you *

Stay logical and get frustrated when they're "too emotional"

Try to take control of the situation and manage the outcome

Focus on restoring harmony even if it means not addressing the real issue

Feel overwhelmed and either shut down or become very emotional

Withdraw from emotional intensity and prefer to discuss things later

When relationships hit the 6-month to 2-year mark, you typically *

Start questioning if this is "the right" relationship for your future

Become more focused on making the relationship work through management

Become even more devoted and focused on making them happy

Feel more anxious about the relationship and need more reassurance

Feel comfortable but notice you need more space than your partner

Your energy in long-term relationships *

Depends on feeling successful and accomplished within the relationship

Gets focused on maintaining control and managing relationship dynamics

Gets depleted by constantly focusing on their needs and happiness

Fluctuates dramatically based on how secure you feel with your partner

Needs regular solitude to recharge from interpersonal interaction

When your partner needs space or alone time, you *

Feel fine about it and use the time productively

Feel slightly threatened and want to understand why they need space

Worry you did something wrong or that they're pulling away

Feel rejected and abandoned, even if you understand intellectually

Feel relieved and enjoy having time to yourself

The "third person" in your relationships tends to be *

Your work, goals, or other people you're comparing your partner to

Your need to be right and in control of situations

Other people's problems and needs that you feel responsible for

Your anxiety about the relationship and need for constant reassurance

Your inner world, books, spiritual practices, or solo interests

Round 4: Love Patterns & Nervous System Responses

When someone loves you exactly as you are (flaws included), you *

Feel uncomfortable because you're not at your "best" yet

Feel suspicious and wonder what they want or what you're missing

Feel grateful but immediately want to do something to deserve it

Feel overwhelmed with emotion and almost can't believe it

Feel touched but also like they don't really know the "real" you

Your nervous system feels most activated by *

The possibility of failure or not living up to your potential

Situations where you're not in control or don't have right information

Other people's emotional distress or relationship problems

Any sign that your partner might be pulling away or losing interest

Too much emotional intensity or demands for immediate intimacy

In your body, love often feels like *

Pressure to maintain a certain standard or image

The weight of responsibility for everyone's emotional wellbeing

A constant outflow of energy that leaves you depleted

An overwhelming flood of emotion that's almost too much to contain

A beautiful experience that you observe more than fully inhabit

Your deepest fear about love is *

That you'll settle for less than you deserve or waste your potential

That you'll lose control and make yourself vulnerable to manipulation

That you'll be too much/not enough and drive people away

That anyone who truly knows you will eventually leave

That true intimacy requires losing yourself or giving up independence

When relationships end, you typically

Analyze what went wrong and how you could have chosen better

Feel like you failed to manage the relationship properly

Blame yourself and wonder what you could have done differently

Feel devastated and struggle to function for a significant period

Feel sad but also somewhat relieved to have your space back

Round 5: Love's Algorithm in Your Nervous System

Your nervous system learned that love means *

Meeting high standards and being worthy of admiration

Being competent enough to handle whatever comes up

Being responsible for other people's emotional states

Being vigilant about potential abandonment or rejection

Maintaining independence while being available for connection

The oxytocin in your system gets hijacked by *

Perfectionism and comparison to imaginary ideals

The need to be right and maintain control over outcomes

Hypervigilance about everyone else's emotional needs

Anxiety about relationship security and your worthiness

Intellectualization that keeps you from fully feeling

Your nervous system's adaptation strategy is *

Optimize everything, including love, to avoid terror of mediocrity

Stay in control of emotional situations to avoid chaos

Become indispensable through generosity and emotional caretaking

Maintain closeness while staying alert to signs of abandonment

Stay present but protected, engaged but not too vulnerable

When you imagine "compounding love" (getting stronger with time), you *

Want it but worry your standards are too high for it to be sustainable

Want it but need to feel confident you can maintain it successfully

Want it but fear you'll mess it up by being too needy or overwhelming

Want it desperately but struggle to believe you're worthy of it

Want it but worry it requires more emotional availability than you can sustain

The algorithm running your love life whispers *

"This isn't good enough yet - you can do better"

"Stay in control or everything will fall apart"

"If you're not taking care of everyone, who will?"

"Love this much, but don't get your hopes up"

"Connection is beautiful, but don't get too close"